It’s Friday December 30, 2011 and I’m at home on the couch thinking about this year.

I can’t say this year has been easy for me. I started off the year being single and thinking my life would be different then any other year but it wasn’t.

I have to say the difficult part about my life is LOVE I find it, I put in 100% in the relationship then out of no where something happens then bye bye love haha.

In September I met somebody that I thought I could be with and be happy with more then anybody i’ve been with.

For the 1st 2months it was amazing and I felt loved and didnt have to worry about anything for the 1st time in my life….then towards the end of the 2 month he lost his job and thats when things started to change we stop hanging out everyday, calling each other and being there for each other…i thought it was the stress of losing a job and looking for one.

Once he found a job everything stay the same as if he wasn’t interested in me anymore. He was spending more time with his bff and going places with his friends without me.

So after the 3th month I told him how I felt about him spending more time with his friends, don’t feel like a real couple and barely any time with me then he said he’ll quit doing that and start spending time with me again.

But 3days later I got a surprise text from him telling me that his feeling have died for me….wow I was in shock didnt know what to say then 10mins later it was a different story he then told me he has so much going on in his life and can’t focus on anybody right now?…that was weird to me because I knew he doesn’t have anything in his life to beĀ focusingĀ more on…so then he told me that he wanted to be on a break so I said okay.

that was something new to me cause I never been on a break with anybody and I didnt know how it works so the next day I tried to ask him how this break works? Are we still faithful to each other? But I didn’t get no answer he just got mad so I said I guess its whatever then.

A week after being on a break and I was getting use to it….he text me and we were texting each other for a bit then out of the blue he text me “we’re back together” so I said okay..but since then he text me 3 different times on different days calling it off again, on a break or to much to handle right now.

So at this point I could really care less about him cause my feelings have died for him cause he’s been playing around like that so many times with my feelings. I help him out so much since we been together but thats going to stop cause I do think he’s talking to somebody else and think he’s only with me cause of my money…he said he’s not with me cause of my money BUT when we’re together that is all he talks about most of the time and when we have a fight or arguments and when I bring up money to him everything is fine then, you know what I mean?

Some days I feel unappreciated when I don’t see him and hearing he’s with his friends…but when i’m with him it’s different, you know?

everybody has their limits and I’m almost to mine with him…